WEEK ONE

Backstreet Boyz 1457 at The Wide Stance 1040 The Caucasians 1207 at Big Shirtless Rob 1048 Yankee Killaz 1192 at Nasty Boyz Kennels 1164 Burrier Bruisers 805 at The Islamofascists 1206 Gator Nation 1399 at The Swamp 1826 Molly Pop 1339 at Quarter Pounders 578

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS

THE SWAMP OVER GATOR NATION Eric takes the win and the week’s high score; only his third in 83 career games. Beware though, only one team who scored the high score in week one, ended up winning it all (Burrier in 2003). However, all made the playoffs. For Don, it’s a small speed bump in his defense of his title. He shouldn’t get too down. Defending champs are now 2-5 in week one games the following year.

THE CAUCASIANS OVER BIG SHIRTLESS ROB Bob continues his league leading 1,000-pt streak (17). That ties him with Robio and Griff, with the third longest streak. He is two back of the second longest and seven back of Matt’s record 24. As for myself, I’m 4-5 lifetime on opening day. However, when I’ve lost the first one. I’ve lose my next one three out of four times.

BACKSTREET BOYZ OVER THE WIDE STANCE Rob is a solid 5-1 on opening day. Rob’s always been solid out of the gate. In fact, Rob’s never had a losing record after the first three divisional games. Since Matt scored 24-straight 1,000-pt games, He had only scored over 1,000 points 18 times in his last 28 games. However, thanks to a 49ers INT of a Leinart hail mary at the end of the game, he broke 1,000.

MOLLY POP OVER THE QUARTER POUNDERS Molly improves to 5-1 lifetime against the Quarter Pounders. Also, Molly dropped her first three openers, but now has won her last three openers. The Pounders just can’t seem to win in the division, no matter what division they are in. They are now 6-19 lifetime in divisional play, including 3-10 in the first three games of the year.

ISLAMOFACISTS OVER BURRIER BRUISERS Calderon improves to 3-6 against Burrier. Calderon had scored over 1,500 in his first three openers, but he hasn’t been able to do that the past two years. Dating back to last year, this is the second straight game where Burrier failed to score 1,000. It’s the first time that’s happens since 2002, when it happened twice that season.

YANKEE KILLAZ OVER NASTY BOYZ KENNELS Dave improves to 5-8 lifetime against Griff. However, he is 5-5 against Griff in the regular season. Dave also improves to 6-3 on opening day. Griff falls to 4-5 on opening day. Dating back to last year, Griff has lost three straight games.

#1 BACKSTREET BOYS I’m sticking with my preseason favorite as my top team after one week. He didn’t live off any one player; five players scored over 200, with the Ravens D just missing out at 192. However, let’s talk Addai. Rob was wondering who to keep? He’s not wondering no mote. Addai out scored Steven Jackson by a solid 300 fucking points! How about that LaMont Jordan? Can you say second running back? This week alone, Jordan produced one-third what he produced all of last year. To nitpick, Cooley struggled and Jones was out-produced by Barber, but I think we all saw that coming.

#2 ERIC VOZZOLA Eric breaks his own scoring record, leads the league in total points, while Romo was the league’s top scorer…overall, a solid first week. While Romo and Burress had career games, Alexander was also solid, as was Winslon and the Broncos defense. On Eric’s bench, Green proved he was a solid backup. Now can a team score this much and have concerns? Sure, why not. Eli Manning is out for a month (maybe), so don’t look for big numbers from Burress any time soon. Also, Ronnie Brown looked like…well, Ronnie Brown. The Dolphins handed the ball to their ‘star’ back a total of 11 times. That won’t get it done.

#3 MOLLY POP Solid, solid start; Gore looked decent and James looked like the Edge of old. Molly could have the best running back combo in the league. This is pretty scary considering she also has Carson Palmer, who rolled over the Ravens, the Pats D who shutdown the Jets and Jason Walker, who certainly looked like an elite receiver. The only concern I had was her tight end, but next time she’ll be smart enough to put Dallas Clark in.

#4 GATOR NATION Don earns the four spot, despite the week one defeat. He scored enough to beat most teams. Four players rolled over 200 points, including Portis. Clinton split 34 carries with Betts, but Portis had the much better game. If he can keep that up, he should be handed more of the workload. Owens did what Owens always seems to do. He didn’t exist in the first half, producing zero points, but he broke out in the second half scoring Don’s team high of 288. On the bench, Don can be very excited about Chris Brown. He was drafted behind LeDale White, but he probably shouldn’t have. If he can keep that up, he might be a solid starting option. Don’s only concerns for now were at second receiver (no-show) and what happened to Tony G? Last year it took him a while to get going.

#5 YANKEE KILLAZ Dave pulled out the toughest win in week one, a 28-pt squeaker over his longtime rival, Griff. What makes it more impressive is the fact he did this while his two starting backs produced a combined 98 points. His sleeper receiver only caught three for 28, while his star receiver (Roy Williams) was out-produced by a rookie and his tight end got one catch. Ouch. How the hell did he win? Try 846 points from two sources; Tom Brady and Steelers DST. Dave got the win this week, but he won’t win too many this way.

#6 ISLAMOFACISTS There were struggles; four starters; Rivers, McAlllister, Rudi and Jackson all failed to break 1,000 and most teams don’t win when they’re third best scorer were the kickers, but when you’re TE is actually a top ten receiver, you can overcome some failures. It also helps when you’re playing Burrier. On the bench, forget the fumble, Foster had a solid game and go ahead and be excited about your rookie receiver. However, if you bench Jackson for Johnson, does Darrell’s stats still count towards roast beef?

#7 THE CAUCASIANS Bob scored well and got a good win, but there are concerns. First the good news; he has Manning and that may be enough. He also has Andre Johnson, a great first week. You see why I wanted him? The downside though, is the running game. Bush was stuffed by the Colts defense and worse yet, Brandon Jacobs is out, for at least a month. Who’s going to fill the hole? Thankfully because of the bidding process, Bob will have a shot at Ward, if he so chooses. He could go with Brandon Jackson, but he didn’t look so hot in GB. He could go with a third-receiver, but neither Bennett or Stallworth look like they can step in right now.

#8 NASTY BOYZ KENNELS With Molly’s squad, Griff might have to accept the one true fact that he may only be the second best fantasy team in the household. Griff had some highlights. Schaub wasn’t too bad and his receivers both looked great. However, where was the running game? Benson did jack shit and worse yet, LJ looked nothing like an elite back. Let’s just hope he’s still working off the rust.

#9 THE SWAMP Matt didn’t break 1,000, but all is not lost. There is hope for this team after all. First, the bench; Matt had 756 points from two players sitting on his bench. Next week, Moss better be in. What about Peterson? Great news…Chester Taylor is hurt and could be out. If that holds up, Peterson is a must start. If week one’s results hold true, Matt’s team could be a surprising one this season.

#10 BURRIER BRUISERS Tomlinson had one of his worst rushing games in his career, yet he still scored 241 points. Even more scarier; Lynch may be the real deal. If he can produce 200+ each week, then Rich is a dangerous team again. Rich can blame Brees for this defeat, but it was a fluke. He won’t struggle like that again. Curry had a huge day (10 catches, 133 yards), which is great because he might be able to fill a big hole at the receiver spot. Unfortunately for Burrier, he has two huge holes at receiver. Clayton laid a goose egg.

#11 BIG SHIRTLESS ROB It’s not easy to win when your opponent’s QB outscores yours by about 350 points. Another game like that from Vince and he’ll be on my bench. Although my running backs were both good (although Parker fumbled), I think Henry proved he’s here to stay. My receivers were studs in the first half, producing 422 total points, but in the second half, the three combined for a total 12 points. That’s not going to get it done. My defeat can be blamed one two things though; my team scored as many touchdowns as it turned the ball over (two) and my defense, if you want to call it that, produced –4. Let’s hope that it was just a fluke.

#12 THE QUARTER POUNDERS Wow, 578. That’s the lowest points scored by the Pounders since week four, 2003. How bad was it? Ben Watson, who only scored 74, out-produced both their receivers (Branch/Evans) by 68. Their running backs, not much better as Lewis did nothing and Caddy got hurt. The lone highlights were the Bears DST and Jon Kitna (on the bench). Can you say QB controversy for the Pounders?

WEEK TWO

Big Shirtless Rob 1956 at The Wide Stance 1543 The Caucasians 1028 at Backstreet Boyz 1673 Burrier Bruisers 593 at Yankee Killaz 1340 The Islamofascists 1554 at Nasty Boyz Kennels 1133 Molly Pop 2025 at Gator Nation 1531 Quarter Pounders 1194 at The Swamp 1389

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS

(2-0) MOLLY POP BEATS (0-2) GATOR NATION – Molly improves to 5-4 against Donnie. – Poor Don, his opponent scored the week’s high score for the second straight week. It’s the seventh time this has happened. The last time was last year (Eric). Only once (Robio in ’02) has it happened three times in a row. – For Molly, it’s Molly first 2,000-point game (and the first one in the league since Calderon last year.

(1-1) BIG SHIRTLESS ROB BEATS (0-2) THE FRANCHISE – Robio improves to 6-2 against Matt. – Both Don and Matt lost, despite scoring over 1,500. That’s not so rare, however, it is the first time that it has happened to two teams the same week. – I broke 1,500 points for the 5th time in my last ten games. – This is the second straight year Matt has started 0-2

(2-0) BACKSTREET BOYZ BEAT (1-1) THE CAUCASIANS – Rob improves to 5-1 against Bob – Rob has scored over 1,400 points in seven of his last eleven games. – With his 18th straight 1,000-pt game, Bob moves into sole possession of 3rd on the list. – Despite the impressive streak, Bob has failed to score 1,100 in four of his last six – This is the third time in six years Rob has started 2-0.

(2-0) ISLAMOFACISTS BEAT (0-2) NASTY BOYZ KENNELS – Calderon earns just his second win against Griff, who leads the series 4-2. – Rich starts the season 2-0 for only the second time. However, last time he ended up only winning four more games the rest of the season and missed the playoffs. – This is the third time in nine seasons Griff has started the season 0-2. – Dating back to last year, Griff has dropped four straight games. This is the fifth time he’s lost four in a row in his career. The last time though was in 2002, when he dropped six straight.

(2-0) THE SWAMP BEATS (0-2) QUARTER POUNDERS – This was Eric’s first ever win over Jeff/Colby, who lead the series 4-1. – This is the first time Eric has started the season 2-0. – Dating back to last year, Eric has won three straight. It is only his third three-game winning streak in his six+ years in the league. – Dating back to last year, the Pounders have lost five straight. It is their longest losing streak. If they lose six in a row, they will be tied for 4th longest streak all-time with seven other teams. – The Pounders fall to 6-20 lifetime in the division. The league’s worst record in divisional play.

(2-0) YANKEE KILLAZ BEATS (0-2) BURRIER BRUISERS – Dave and Rich are now tied 4-4 in their series. – Burrier’s 593 total points is his lowest single game score ever. – Dating back to last year, Burrier has failed to break 1,000 in three straight games. His longest such streak. – With his second win in 2007, Dave has already doubled his 2006 total. – This is the 4th time in nine years Dave has started 2-0. He was able to go 3-0 in two of three previous times.

#1A BACKSTREET BOYZ, 2-0 (Last week, #1) Although Molly did produce a 2,000-pt game, Rob’s boyz did nothing to warrant dropping them one bit. LaMont Jordan rolled for the second straight week and is not only looking like a solid sleeper, but he’s on pace to be a top-five back. If he can continue this, we could be looking at a 11-2 season for Masterson.

#1B MOLLY POP, 2-0 (Last week, #3) Two-grand in a single week is rare. How rare? This is only the 16th time it has ever happened in 840 games in this league. 2003 was the year of the 2,000. Two-grand was passed five times that year (twice by Robio). 2,000+ was scored in not only a playoff game, but a title game as well. Anyhow, is there any doubt who has the best running back duo in the league? (Technically, Masterson does for now with Addai/Jordan) Anyhow, James a flourished down South and he’s just Molly’s second best back. I have to believe there are a few teams who could use the Edge as their number one back. On top of that pair, we knew what she was getting with Palmer, but who knew the Packers D would be top ten and Dallas Clark would be a top-three tight end?

#3 THE SWAMP, 2-0 (Last week, #2) Eric got an average game from Alexander and Burress fell back to earth, yet he still topped 1,300. He can thank both Tony Romo and the Bengals DST (for allowing Winslow to look like Gates). Despite the top rating, there are some concerns. Where the hell is Ronnie Brown? You’ll have to give me a good reason why you don’t bench Brown for Ahman Green for now? Anyhow, I don’t want to jinx him, but Eric really only needs to win five of his last eleven to guarantee himself a playoff spot.

#4 ISLAMFACISTS, 2-0 (Last week, #6) Last week, Calderon’s score didn’t impress me. This week, I can’t overlook a 1,500-pt game. Favre was a good start and the Vikings DST have been pretty impressive. Right now the receivers are surviving on touchdowns, which is fine, but it’s time for these boys to start producing some yards. Between Holt, Johnson and Jackson, none of produced 80+ yards in receiving. There are some issues that could bite Rich down the road. First, why have the Saints forgotten about McAllister? Twenty carries, really? Also, I thought Rivers was ready to step up to top QB status. Granted the opponents have been good ones, so hopefully those numbers will improve, because we all know you can’t rely on Favre on a weekly basis.

#5 BIG SHIRTLESS ROB 1-1 (Last week, #11) It’s probably a little early for a six-spot jump, but 1,900 will do that. These are the kind of points I expected from my team. Young was good and the Cowboys DST did a one-eighty against the Fins. My running back duo of Parker and Henry has produced 200+ points in three of their four games so far. Concerns are small, but there. Drive got a TD, but hasn’t reached 100 yards and I’m looking for more than just five catches for 60 yards from Shockey each week.

#6 YANKEE KILLAZ, 2-0 (Last week, #5) A slight drop for Dave, but more to do with the week I had and less to do with Dave’s week. Delhomme produced more points than Brady, so smart move and Roy Williams and the Steelers DST were great for the second straight week. But what’s going on with Vincent Jackson? I thought this was a breakout year? More pressing though is the running game. Dave was supposed to have an elite team…Jackson and Maroney have not lived up to their potential at all. Jackson looks bogged down behind a shitty line and Maroney is sharing too many carries with Morris and Faulk. The wins will dry up if this trend continues.

#7 GATOR NATION, 0-2 (Last week, #4) It’s odd how this works sometimes. Last week I had Don at #4 despite the loss. This week he actually scores more, but I drop him three spots. Sorry, but if you want to stay on top of the rankings, you have to earn those W’s. The stars for Don were found at the receiver spot. Owens again looked great and Galloway continues to prove the age-old theory…if they sucked on my team last year, they’ll blow up this year. Portis and McGahee both looked fine, but can anyone ever see either of these guys scoring 300+ in a game this year? Also, so much for that Chris Brown is back crap. That lasted all of one game.

#8 THE CAUCASIANS, 1-1 (Last week, #7) Did I just drop you behind me, even though you beat me last week? It doesn’t make any sense, does it? I never promised I’d make sense though. Bob lost to a good team and was still able to produce his 18th straight 1,000-pt game, but lots of question marks are scattered across the whitey’s roster. This week, Bob made the mistake of playing Jackson instead of Ward. Let’s assume he won’t make that mistake again. Either way, if he doesn’t start getting bigger numbers from Bush, then Bob’s wins won’t add up either. At receiver, Johnson has been blowing up, but he has a sprained knee and is listed as doubtful. Who’s he going to replace him with, Stallworth? Good luck with that.

#9 THE WIDE STANCE, 0-2 (Last week, #9) In total, there are five 0-2 teams. This has never happened before in Robioland. Of the remaining four, Matt is the best. I actually wanted to move him up, but I just couldn’t find a spot for him. Anyhow, despite the 0-2 mark Matt can actually be excited. Moss is the real deal, proven me (and even you, Matt) wrong. Right now he looks unstoppable. Peterson only got 188 total points, but I watched that game and he looks great. He’s a #1 back as long as Chester Taylor remains out. Although I think he’s the better back, I still think Lynch will get rookie of the year, simple because he’ll get about 100 more carries this year. Another surprise is the 49ers DST. No, they’re not the Bears DST, but Boldin is a big step up in that 2nd receiver spot from Reggie Brown, who is doing crap right now.

#10 NASTY BOYZ KENNELS, 0-2 (Last week, #8) Griff can’t be too happy right now. His running backs have not looked impressive and right now, I see very little evidence showing they’ll improve (actually Benson had a decent game). It won’t matter how great Schaub has looked or how well TJ and Reggie play, if these two guys don’t step up, then Griff will be taking a step down this year. At what point does the Stoner wish he kept Shaun Alexander this year?

#11 QUARTER POUNDERS, 0-2 (Last week, #12) It’s never good news when your bench out produces your starters (1,216-1,204). This week was a great example of why the Pounders (i.e. Colby) will struggle this year). While his players do show occasional greatness, none are consistent. This forces Colby to have to pick and choose who to start and who to sit. This week, he made more wrong decisions than right ones (who knew Jamal Lewis would ever sniff 200-yards in one game again?). It’s not easy. The Caddy was hurt, yet he produces 194. Last week Branch scored a big, fat ZERO. He gets bench and scores 230. Good luck this week, Colby.

#12 THE BURRIER BRUISERS, 0-2 (Last week, #10) Isn’t this the guy who has won the divisional title four years running? Doesn’t he have the league’s best player? Who is this guy? With Tomlinson struggling, so does the Bruiser, but we all would struggle if our #1 guy only produced 72 points. LT isn’t Rich’s problem. Hell, second running back isn’t really the issue. It’s the gigantic hole at WR/TE. So much for Curry’s breakthrough, huh? Clayton, Curry and Pollard produced a grand total of 36 points (and that’s with Curry spotting 38). Please explain to me why Pollard was suddenly going to have a breakout year? For now, I won’t declare Rich dead. Look for Tomlinson to bounce back and Barber should finally get the start (he’s only scored in 13 of his last 18 games). Plus, Burrier has been known for his slow starts, so don’t piss on his grave just yet.

WEEK THREE

Backstreet Boyz 866 at Big Shirtless Rob 1571 The Wide Stance 2338 at The Caucasians 1227 Nasty Boyz Kennels 935 at Burrier Bruisers 1186 Yankee Killaz 2018 at The Islamofascists 1158 The Swamp 1905 at Molly Pop 829 Gator Nation 1549 at Quarter Pounders 1012

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Why wait until Tuesday to do Tuesday Thoughts? Talk about a week; two teams over 2,000, another team over 1,900 points. One team is over 1,500, but two more have a chance to break 1,500 this week. With all the games decided, let’s jump right into the rankings. Let’s also try to address the big questions after three weeks for each team.

THE WIDE STANCE WILL DEFEAT THE CAUCASIANS – Matt leads the series over Bob 5-3 – Matt’s 2,338 total points is the second greatest game in league history. However, this is the most points scored in the regular season (Masterson’s record 2,501-pt game was done in the playoffs) – Bob still has Bush to play, but Matt is beating Bob by 1,275 points. If that was the final, it would be the third biggest ass-kicking of all time. – Kevin Curtis’ 600 points is the most points scored in league history by a bench player. – Bob has scored over 1,000 for the 19th straight time. It ties him with Rick Mullin, for second longest streak. He is five back of Matt Neatock’s record of 24-straight.

THE YANKEE KILLAZ WILL DEFEAT THE ISLAMOFACISTS – Dave leads the series 4-1 – This is the second time Dave has scored over 2,000 in his career – First time in league history, two teams scored over 2,000 in the same week. – Four the fourth straight year, Rich has started the seasons 2-1. – This is the second time in nine years, Dave has started the season 3-0. Both times before, he ended up 8-6.

THE SWAMP WILL DEFEAT MOLLY POP – Despite the win, Eric still trails Molly 5-4 in career meetings. – Eric has scored 5,120 in the last three games. It’s the most Eric has scored in a three game stretch. – This is the first time Eric has been 3-0 – Molly trails Eric by 1,200 points. The fifth biggest ass-kicking of all time. Luckily for her, she still has a receiver left to play Monday night. – Molly will start the seasons 2-1 for the fourth time in five seasons

BIG SHIRTLESS ROB WILL DEFEAT BACKSTREET BOYZ – Robio improves to 6-2 lifetime against Masterson – If I can break 1,500 this week, it will be the seventh time in eleven games I’ve done it. – Despite the loss, Rob is still 2-1. In six seasons, Rob has never been below .500 in the first round of divisional games. – This is the sixth time in nine years I have started the season 2-1 or better. – My next two opponents are a combined 1-5

GATOR NATION WILL DEFEAT THE QUARTER POUNDERS – Don improves to 2-3 lifetime against Jeff & Colby – Don has scored 1,500 points in back-to-back games. It is only the third time (and first since 2002) that he has done this. – Jeff & Colby fall to 6-21 in divisional play – The Pounders’ opponent has scored at least 1,300 in all three games – Jeff/Colby have dropped six straight, dating back to last season

BURRIER BRUISERS WILL DEFEAT BAD NEWZ KENNELS – Burrier improves to 5-2 against Griff – By scoring over 1,000, Burrier breaks a three-game streak of scores under 1,000 – Dating back to last year, Griff has dropped five straight – This is only the second time Griff has started the season 0-3. The last time he did, it was the only time he missed the playoffs. – This is the third time in six years Burrier has started the season 1-2. He ended up winning the division the other two times.

#1 THE SWAMP – This may be the first time Eric has ever been on top of this list. No one has been more consistent over a three-week period than the kid in Gainesville. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: Is Eric the product of fluke big games? Yes, but time will tell if this was Ronnie Brown’s coming out game or just the Jet’s defense. Is Romo the second coming of Kurt Warner ’99? Teams that win championships are teams that find that great QB in the mid-to-late rounds. Romo is that guy. Will Alexander be great again? Despite Eric’s success, he has to be a little worried about Alexander. Sure he’s not Larry Johnson, but would it kill him to have a 200-pt game?

#2 BACKSTREET BOYZ – I know, he loss and he probably won’t break 1,000, but this was a fluke game and it won’t happen a lot. Look at it this way, he had three awful games by star players and he still might almost break 1,000. Give 85 points to your 2 thru 4 best players and lets see your team break 500. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: Is that RB hole filled? Yes. Is there ant doubt that LaMont Jordan isn’t back to semi-elite status? Is the QB spot the new hole? Not quite, but he is looking like a minor weak spot. Granted, he did break 200 in his first two starts, but Bulger was supposed to be a top-six QB, not Harrington-lite.

#3 YANKEE KILLAZ – We all thought the running combo of Jackson and Maroney would lead this team to a 3-0 start. However, it’s been the Brady/Steelers DST combo that has given Dave a 3-0 start. Tom Brady is playing Madden ’08 on rookie mode. This is sick. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: Where are those running backs? Both Maroney and Jackson had their best games, but even that wasn’t too great. For Maroney, this might be the best he has to offer, however, look for Jackson’s numbers to keep improving? Did Vincent Jackson have his breakout game? Sadly, I don’t think scoring 200+ is going to be the norm for this guy. Is he a good enough 2nd receiver? Sure, why not.

#4 MOLLY POP – Like Masterson above, I’m not willing to drop you too far, because one bad loss should kill you. Make me proud and break 1,000 at least. Your boys had a lot of tough match ups this week and it was asking too much to expect big stats from them. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: Why in the hell would you sit Dallas Clark? That may have been the dump move of the week. Seriously, Dallas Clark has been the best tight end not named Antonio. Don’t ever sit him again. I don’t care if Randy McMichael is facing Griff’s mother. Who is going to fill the bye-week holes? Right now, no one. Anytime one of your starters is on a bye-week, you will have a hole that won’t be filled (except defense & QB)

#5 BIG SHIRTLESS ROB – Despite Henry’s struggles, I’m probably still going to break 1,500. This makes me feel happy inside that if one player struggles, my team won’t. It’s a huge win for me, putting me in first in my division. Now let’s keep the mo going against lesser foes in the next two weeks. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: Can Vince lead me to a title? He’s not elite, but this week will tell me a lot. The Saints D sucks and there is no reason why he can’t score 300+ for me. Great QB’s have great games against bad defensive teams. Will I make a trade like I always do? Doubtful. Since I’m stuck right at the cap and I wouldn’t trade any starters, who am I going to trade for?

#6 THE WIDE STANCE – I know, you think you belong higher, but let’s not forget, although it was an impressive win, it was still one win. Let’s see you follow it up with at least 1,500 next week. However, there are some scary parts on this team. Westbrook we knew about, that’s not too shocking, but Moss, come on? And don’t say you knew it all the time. You were pissed you kept him and you offered to trade him to me for Berrian and LeDale White. You’re lucky I didn’t see it coming either. However, you have been bragging about your Peterson pick all season and I’ll have to give you props. He’s a star…now. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: What happens to Peterson when Taylor comes back? If Chester was hurt, then Matt would be all set. I have to assume that the Vikings aren’t stupid and will at least keep starting Peterson. The only question then will be, how many carries does he still from the rookie? Will Matt miss the Bears DST? Not at all. The Redskins and 49ers DST aren’t the Bears, but if Matt plays his match ups right, they’ll be just fine. Is Matt a playoff team? God I hate to say it, but probably. I wonder how Matt tells his deaf girlfriend that?

#7 ISLAMOFACISTS – First, I will have to say that even I am shocked by how productive Antonio Gates is. 11 catches? Amazing. However, where is that receiving core you bragged about so much? Three weeks, six games…zero 100-yard games. Great move putting in Foster (348), but cutting Favre for Campbell didn’t quite work out so well. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: How injured is this team? Two of Rich’s Johnson’s were unable to finish their games, but even if they are hurt, Rich has the talent on the bench to recover. Can this team be great? Nothing screams out as greatness…for now. Sure he had a 1,500-pt game and would have had two 1,300 if it wasn’t for the injury bug this week, but if Holt doesn’t start playing like a star and if Rich can’t find a more solid QB (you can’t pick up the QB facing the Giants every week), you’re looking at a first round playoff team at best. Will Rich win our bet? So far, not so good. Currently, Robio’s WR/TE’s have scored more than 500 than Rich’s WR/TE’s. Currently, Chad Johnson is the 2nd best receiver (behind Moss) and Driver is 12th. However, Gates is doubling up Shockey in points (660-330).

#8 GATOR NATION – You win and I drop you a bit, I know, it makes no sense. Sorry. On top of that, back-to-back 1,500-pt games, what am I thinking. I just can’t quite move you ahead of a handful of 2-1 teams. A good, solid effort across the board. No player stood out and only Galloway under performed. Although McGahee and Portis haven’t been great, they haven’t been bad either and in this league, that’s important. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: Will either McGahee or Portis break 300? I’m sure one of them will one time, but that’s about it. Will Don make the playoffs. Although I’m not completely confident he will. I think he’s definitely better than at least three teams, so there is no reason why he can’t compete for a lower seed.

#9 THE CAUCASIANS Manning can’t score 500 every week, so who else is going to step up for this team? Injuries are starting to be a concern. You’re already missing Jacobs and Andre Johnson and now Vernon Davis as a big cross next to his name. It’s time for Bush to live up to his first round billing. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: Where is Hines Ward? Honestly, I don’t know. He’s certainly not playing for the Steelers right now. One reception for fourteen yards isn’t going to do it. Is Bob a playoff team? He can be, if he stays healthy. However, that pesky injury bug has followed Bob from baseball to football. Is Manning trade bait? For now, it’s too early, but if Bush can’t be a star running back, Bob will have to entertain some offers.

#10 BURRIER BRUISERS He finally breaks 1,000 and gets his first win of 2007, but it was against a struggling Griff team. After playing me next week, you face Bob and Jeff/Colby; two teams you should be able to beat if you’re team is as good as you think it is. Anyhow, the Jags D looked great again and Barber was a great move, He should be a permanent fixture in your lineup. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: Will Tomlinson be Tomlinson? After three weeks the answer is no. It’s been three weeks and he still hasn’t produced a 100-yard game. Are those giant holes at receiver filled? No. Curry looks good and he should workout just fine. However, you can’t rely on McDonald. Sorry, we can’t overlook the fact he is the 4th receiver on this team.

BAD NEWS KENNELS It’s time to start worrying. The Benson/Johnson running back experiment has failed. If these two don’t get it going or if Griff can’t figure something out, this may end up being Griff’s toughest seasons in Robioland. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: Can trades save this team? Don’t know. He’s got a couple good receivers, but are they good enough to land him a solid running back? He also has Witten sitting on his bench and I’m sure so folks could use a good tight end. If he doesn’t trade, will Benson and Johnson improve? Yes, they will, simply because they can’t do much worse.

THE QUARTER POUNDERS Man how the mighty have fallen. Last year, Griff and Jeff/Colby were the favorites to win it all in 2006, but now they’re at the bottom of the rankings. For Colby, so far he just can’t seem to make the right decision. This week he went with Kitna, but McNabb scored more. He put in the Caddy, but T. Jones played better. He put in Santana Moss, but Branch was the man. In the end though, it still wouldn’t have mattered. QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERS: How does Colby solve this? If there’s one person who will not just sit on a bad team, it’s Colby. Take note; too many teams have started off bad and made the playoffs, to ignore this team.

WEEK FOUR

The Wide Stance 859 at Yankee Killaz 917 Gator Nation 1196 at Backstreet Boyz 672 The Swamp 1537 at Nasty Boyz Kennels 1383 Big Shirtless Rob 894 at Burrier Bruisers 1135 Molly Pop 1605 at The Caucasians 1040 Quarter Pounders 617 at The Islamofascists 652

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS First, the site again is doing something weird. It says my week three lineup was illegal, when it wasn’t. I took Olsen off of IR this week, but it puts his salary back up during all the weeks, when it shouldn’t, thus I’m over the cap. So far the only way to fix it is to bump up the salary cap. The cap is still $135 though.

#1 THE SWAMP Eric just confirms yet again he’s the top team. No, he didn’t get high score, but he’s produced over 1,500 for the third time in fur games. In fact, his bad game is 1,389. For Lil’ E, it’s simple…he’s got the league’s top QB (Romo) and the best running back (Ronnie Brown). What’s amazing is Shaun Alexander hasn’t even got it gong. Scary.

#2 MOLLY POP She’s probably more like 1A. She’s earned high scores twice already. The only reason why she’s not number one, her bruised ass from Eric’s whopping last week. Let’s look at the facts, Gore and James were sub par, which has to make Molly a little nervous. However she has a top four tight end and maybe I’m wrong, but is Holmes now the #1 receiver in Pittsburgh? If I’m right, I’m not looking forward to facing Molly.

#3 YANKEE KILLAZ This is where it really gets tough because all the other top teams struggled. Both Dave and Matt got screwed with both their star running backs going out in the last second, but hey, you have to watch it. Dave should always find some success riding Brady and the Steelers DST. However, I’m ready to say Maroney will be a bust. The Pats are willing to run too many different backs for him to be an elite.

#4 BIG SHIRTLESS ROB Every year, usually around this time, I lay an egg. This was a big fat egg. I should not be losing to Burrier. First and foremost, I picked the wrong QB to replace bye-week Young. Man, Green sucks. It also looks like Parker is going to pull the same shit he did last year, great back at home, piece of shit at home.

#5 ISLAMFACISTS Ugly, ugly…oh yeah, ugly. How ugly? You two combined for 1,269. It’s the 4th lowest scoring game in over nine years in Robioland fantasy football. We’re going to just ignore this one. It didn’t happen. You’re 3-1, that’s al that matters.

#6 GATOR NATION After two tough defeats, you pull out two straight wins. Hasselback is starting to look good and McGahee as well. Maybe my prediction of a missed playoff for Donnie may be wrong.

#7 BACKSTREET BOYZ Man, they fall hard. Not only an ugly defeat, but Rob could lose three starters next week in Harrison, Jordan and Addai. Luckily for him he’ got a deep bench and no bye-weeks next week.

#8 THE WIDE STANCE Everyone in this league knows how to fix a missing player right before game time except Matt. This time it cost him a win. Maybe if you had superstar Kevin Curtis in, he could have saved…oh wait, he was in and he had two catches. Too bad the Eagles can’t face the Lions defense every week. Anyhow, Matt’s team is better than the 8th team, but he needs to earn the wins to move up.

#9 BURRIER BRUISERS Is there anyone more luckier than the Bruisers? Back-to-back weeks of below 1,000 opponents. Be very, very happy…2-2 is great for a team that can’t break 1,200. You want to know how lucky Burrier is, his one opponent he doesn’t have to face is Eric, the best team in the league.

#10 THE CAUCASIANS After an impressive week one, Bob has fallen on hard time, dropping three straight. He was one of three teams that had a starting RB who didn’t play. We can’t forget though, Bob had FIVE starters out this week due to injury and bye weeks.

#11 NASTY BOYZ KENNELS Griff had a solid week, but too bad he was facing the league’s best team. Larry looked like Larry (sort of), but if Benson doesn’t show up, then we have issues. 0-4 is not quite panic time, but 0-5 you better start.

#12 QUARTER POUNDERS at Poor Colby, he just can’t make a right decision. He puts in McNabb and sits Kitna. If he didn’t he would have won. He puts in Jones, but doesn’t play Lewis or Morris. Either of those guys would have meant victory. He takes out the Bears DST for the Texans…you get the point. One good decision…he dumps the Caddy for Lynch. Good call.

WEEK FIVE

The Swamp 1383 at The Wide Stance 754 Backstreet Boyz 1266 Yankee Killaz 1283 Gator Nation 1162 at Nasty Boyz Kennels 889 Quarter Pounders 876 at Big Shirtless Rob 805 The Caucasians 1239 at Burrier Bruisers 1012 Molly Pop 1154 at The Islamofascists 1319

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS This has been one crazy week for Robio. In Vegas (no less) I watched Kyle “I watch my receiver the whole way” Wright throw 4 INT’s, thus the Canes lose to Fucking North Carolina. Then my fantasy QB (Vince Young) throws three more (I lose to the Tar Heels of Robioland, the Pounders) and Monday night I watch Romo throw five interceptions (and one fumble), but somehow the Cowboys pull one out. It’s been a long time since I’ve cursed this much at quarterbacks.

By the way, here’s how cheering for your team and your fantasy team at the same time really fucks you up. Last night, I had the Cowboys D, while Colby had Lynch and Folk (Cowboys kicker). Late into the 4th quarter the Pounders were leading by a little. Then Newman gets an interception, but can’t return it for a TD. I take the lead. The Bills get it back and Lynch gets a few yards. Colby/Jeff take a one-point lead. The Cowboys score, but miss the two-point conversion. My heart wants the Cowboys to get the onside kick, get some yards and score. However, I also know if the Bills recover it, then they’ll kneel, causing a 1-2 yard lose. I would either tie the game or maybe even win it by one. Anyhow, the Boys recovered and pulled the game out of their ass. I lost in Robioland.

#1 THE SWAMP There really is no question and there is no way Eric is not going to make the playoffs. He’s 5-0 (tied for best start in league history) and he’s earned high score twice now. He’s never scored below 1,300 (while other teams have yet to crack it). How’s he doing it? Let’s see, a top three QB (Romo), a top five receiver (Burress) and the league’s best running back (Ronnie Brown). The scariest part is, this team could be so much better. Alexander has been awful and Fitzgerald has just now found his groove with Kurt Warner (who will be starting for the next 5-6 weeks. You know what should be fun though? Next week, 5-0 Eric takes on 5-0 David. The winner will be Robioland’s first 6-0 team ever.

#2 YANKEE KILLAZ Seriously, 1-12 to this? Hell, Dave had dropped 16 out of his last 18 prior to this. The best part is, he’s not doing it the way we thought he was. The dynamic running back duo of Jackson and Maroney…missing in action. He got 54 points from Graham and Burleson. Instead he’s doing it with the league’s top QB (Brady) and a mildly surprising Steelers DST. Is it just me, or do we start to reconsider where we draft quarterbacks next seasons. Looking ahead, Dave will get a chance to prove he’s the real deal when he takes on Eric. While the lil’ Vozzola is at full strength (he loses his kicker), Dave still won’t have his backs and he also loses Roy Williams to a bye. Good luck with that.

#3 GATOR NATION The top three teams this week are all from the same division. How do I come up with this fuzzy math? It’s simple really, they’re the top three scoring teams in the league. Maybe it’s time to stop making fun of the Florida people (Technically, Dave is not a Florida person, but he’s associated with them). Anyhow, Don had to fill in a few holes this week and did quite well with Dayne, Jennings and the Titans DST. Maybe it helps when you’re facing the likes of the 2007 version of Griff, but you have to be happy with the 200 McGahee delivers just about every week. I’m still not willing to declare this team a playoff lock, but I’m unable to overlook the points and the three wins.

#4 ISLAMOFACISTS Man I never thought this team would have four wins after five weeks, but what do I know? Rich again does a fine job filling holes on a week-to-week basis. The Brees trade was a bust (at least for this week) but both Bowe and Crayton were solid fill-ins. I’m finally becoming a believer in a solid Holt/Gates combo and things should only get better once Rudi gets back. With one 0-5 ream and two 1-4 teams, it will be tough to miss the playoffs.

#5 MOLLY POP Another last second game-time scratch costs another team a win (maybe). Even if Molly caught this one, who knows if she would have put in Northcutt (she’d win) or Davis (she’s still lose)? Despite the setback, Molly still produced decent points without he starting QB and top receiver, but what happened to those solid running backs? Gore has looked like every other great back from ’06…shit. She might be able to beat every team below her on the rankings, but I’m not sure I can call her elite…for now.

#6 THE CAUCASIANS After knocking off the front five, this was really where I got confused. No one really deserves to be the sixth team on Robio’s Rankings. However, Bob’s team is the one team that hasn’t had a bad game. First things first, Bob scored over 1,000 for the 21st straight game. To put that in perspective, the second longest active streak is nine, by Don. More importantly, Bob is three back of the longest streak, 24 by Matt. Now let’s talk about the team. Despite missing four starters due to injury, Bob is 2-3 (and tied for first in the division). That’s pretty amazing. Also, Bush didn’t look great, but he at least looked like someone who can carry the load. Also, Jacobs came back (and should be taken off IR) and despite the fumble, looked solid. In the next three weeks he faces the 1-4 Pounders, 5-0 Eric and 0-5 Griff. If he can win two of those three, Bob could win this division.

#7 BACKSTREET BOYZ Talk about a wicked slide. At least Rob broke 1,000 this time around. Nice job filling in for Addai and Harrison…both Edwards and Keith did great. Again though, it was QB that killed the pre-season favorite. Maybe it’ time to put in the black quarterback? Sure Garrard won’t scare anyone, but you just need someone top stop killing you week in and week out. This has been Masterson’s QB production the past three weeks; 2, 11, and -47. This almost makes Burrier’s receiving core look decent. Fill it and Rob will be right back on track.

#8 THE WIDE STANCE Tough week for Matt, but there were too many holes to fill. Boldin was out and his two stud backs were on bye-weeks (Westbrook and Peterson). Despite the 1-4 start, there is no reason to panic. Matt is only one game out of the divisions lead (man our division sucks) and he should have all his stars back healthy and playing next week. Did I mention he’s facing the Quarter Pounders?

#9 BURRIER BRUISERS This week, the luck ran out…if you can’t break 1,200, you probably won’t win. This week Rich rolled with McDonald and Muhammad at receiver and again the two receivers combined couldn’t crack 100. I don’t care if LT ever looks like the old LT, you won’t compete without receivers. The good news is, Rivers looked down right nasty (the good nasty, not the bad). Too bad he can’t play both your receiver positions.

#10 BIG SHIRTLESS ROB Where has it all gone wrong? After a solid couple weeks, I have not been able to break 1,000 in two straight weeks. That’s only happened twice before. Hell, I haven’t even broke 900 in two straight games and that’s a first. I drop myself to ten because these two defeats have been pitiful. Facing Burrier and the Pounders should have been two guaranteed W’s. Again I ask, where has it all gone wrong? First it’s QB, Young has looked awful (five INT’s the past two weeks) and can someone please explain to me why he’s not running? That was the whole point of keeping him? Second, oh Henry. He’s going to be suspended and then he lays and egg at home. Now the schedule gets fun….I face ff against Molly, Calderon, Don, Dave and Eric; a combined 19-4 and five of the leagues six highest scoring teams. Luckily for me, Molly will be without Gore, Holmes, Clark and Walker, while I only lose Henry.

#11 QUARTER POUNDERS I know, you beat me, but I just can’t put you ahead of me. You’ve failed to score 1,000 three times and you haven’t broken 1,200 yet. Eric’s been scoring that much by half time. Despite the win, lets not forget…if Ben Watson didn’t have his career game (his first 100-yard game in pro or college), we’d be talking about the Pounders having the second lowest scoring game two weeks in a row. The amazing thing is, I actually believe Colby has made the team better with the trades he has done.

#12 NASTY BOYZ KENNELS Man this is starting to get ugly. No one has ever started 0-6, but give me one god reason why you can win next week? You know you’re in trouble when your tight end is your best player. Also, one day you’ll have to explain to me why you took out the Chargers DST for the Tampa’s. Yes I know, the Chargers are struggling, but they were facing a Denver team that can only kick field goals (even at home) and even if the Colts are a little banged up, it’s still Manning. Indy’s wide outs could be your wife and two kids and they would still score at least 28. Anyhow, this season is over if you can’t fix your running backs. Benson is average at best and LJ, wow, 2 fucking points? Now I’m hearing about them putting in Priest Holmes…now that’s bad.

WEEK SIX

Yankee Killaz 1424 at The Swamp 1188 Molly Pop 791 at Big Shirtless Rob 892 Nasty Boyz Kennels 1450 at Backstreet Boyz 1866 Quarter Pounders 1230 at Burrier Bruisers 1514 The Wide Stance 1466 at Gator Nation 1311 The Islamofascists 880 at The Caucasians 891

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Tuesday Thoughts need to be quick this week. I’m writing the Mid-Season report and I’ll save everything to then. It should be done by Thursday morning.

#1 Yankee Killaz – I keep thinking this team is a fraud, especially when I see his current lineup (No good running backs), yet he not only keeps winning, he’s third in the league in scoring. Congratulations Dave, the league’s first 6-0 start.

#2 The Swamp – Man, what a bad loss; everyone was predicting a win. This is like when you’re in college drunk freshman, passed out naked in your bed. She’s yours to violate and then your dick goes limp. Lame.

#3 Backstreet Boyz – A solid win, with two studs sitting on a bye-week. You have one more week with bye-concerns, but after that the pre-season favorite should be ready to spank more than his wife.

#4 Gator Nation – A tough defeat, but again you Don scored a decent game. I picked him to miss the playoffs, instead he’s third in the league in scoring. Fuck me.

#5 The Wide Stance – Matt, in the 5th spot? What the fuck am I thinking? Wait until the mid-season report, but sometimes you have to read between the stats; Matt is the only team to score over 8,000, while his opponents have scored over 8,000 too.

#6 Molly Pop – A fluke game, but I believe that’s the second time I’ve said that about a Molly game. Like Molly, I feel like this team is just teasing us, not yet showing us the goods. Come on Molly, it’s time to show the goods.

#7 The Islamofascists – He needs to get healthy, CJ and Rudi are wasting on the bench and Brees finally had a breakout game, too bad he was on the bench. However, I can’t ignore the fact that Calderon’s highest ranked RB is DeShawn Foster at #22.

#8 The Caucasians – Bush and Jacobs looked good together this week; not great, but good. Now let’s see them play with Manning and Andre Johnson…oh yeah, and Hines Ward and Vernon Davis while we’re at it.

#9 Burrier Bruisers – Rich claims he’s a slow starter and this is where he comes alive. Well, if week six is any indication, then he might be right. However, if he’s to win his fifth straight divisional crown, he still needs to make up three games on Dave.

#10 Big Shirtless Rob – Fraud alert. I have no broken 1,000 in my last three starts…that’s a record for me. I’m also only 3-3, despite the fact that my opponents have scored the second least points. This week I face Calderon who rolls with Foster and Gates, while I only lose Driver. I should win, but I’m 0-2 against teams I should beat.

#11 Nasty Boyz Kennels – Griff is back in the record book, but it’s not a record he can brag about, or maybe he can. With his ninth straight loss, Griff ties David with the longest losing streak in league history. His next two opponents are a combined 3-9, so if he’s going to snap it, this is the time to do it.

#12 Quarter Pounders – Wait, Griff hasn’t won a game, yet I move him in front of Jeff & Colby? You bet. I can’t ignore the fact that Griff has outscored the Pounders by over 1,400 total points. Also, in breakdown, The Pounders are an awful 13-53, while Griff is a more respectable 28-38.

WEEK SEVEN

Nasty Boyz Kennels 1097 at The Wide Stance 1354 Backstreet Boyz 742 at The Swamp 1177 Yankee Killaz 1658 at Gator Nation 1268 The Islamofascists 1423 at Big Shirtless Rob 1462 The Caucasians 1180 at Quarter Pounders 872 Burrier Bruisers 1147 at Molly Pop 1010

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS

#1 YANKEE KILLAZ (7-0) The wins keep on adding up, but when will this streak end? How about this week against Molly? Not sure she has enough firepower anymore. What about me in two weeks? Probably not, I’m still waiting for everything to come together. Would you believe me if I said the Quarter Pounders? Dave loses six players due to a bye-week (three potential starters), including Tom Brady.

#2 THE SWAMP (6-1) The Vozzola’s are right, he can still win without Ronnie Brown, just like I could still nail a chick in college without alcohol, but it was so much easier with the Schnapps. Eric has the most money to spend on free agents…how much is he willing to pay for Chatman?

#3 THE WIDE STANCE (3-4) Two things are obvious right now…the only thing that can hold back Adrian Peterson is his coach. Seriously, only eight carries after the first drive. That’s a joke. And two, Matt can still win when he has a sub par game.

#4 GATOR NATION (3-4) Just another good, but not great, game by Don. The schedule doesn’t get much easier either. Big D faces off against Robio (with no McGhee, Owens, Gonzalez or Hasselback), followed by Bob and Burrier. The three of us are 6-0 in our last two weeks.

#5 THE CAUCASIANS (4-3) Bob got the win, but we are now learning that Andre Johnson might be out until week eleven. Even so, Bob’s team is slowly starting to come together with both Bush and Jacobs looking like solid backs. If Hines Ward can find his groove and Bob can find a defense, watch out.

#6 BIG SHIRTLESS ROB (4-3) I finally beat a team I was favorite to beat…about damn time. Garcia stepped in nicely for Young (and will remain the starter). Did you know he has yet to throw an INT? Fuck Tom Brady. I still got a brutal schedule. I should be able to beat Don easily (thanks to bye-weeks), but after that I face the league’s two top teams (Dave and Eric) before heading back into divisional play. In fact, in my last six games, I face four of the top six scoring teams.

#7 ISLAMOFACISTS (4-3) Rich found some solid fill ins with Kevin Jones and Watson (tell me, you wishing Rudi would just go out for the year?) and Brees is playing better, but Rich has a tough three-game stretch against (The original favorite) Rob, (The current favorite) Eric and (The flavor of the month) Matt. If he can pull out two of three, then he’s going to the playoffs.

#8 BURRIER BRUISERS (4-3) Rich’s opponent scoring is 9th, so he’s not the worst. For some reason though, I can help but feeling he’s the luckiest team out there. Why? First, none of his opponents has even sniffed 1,500 points. Second, he’s 11th in the league in scoring. This is fantasy baseball all over again. For those of you who missed out, Burrier was dead last in points and breakdown in football, but he was always one of the top five teams in wins (he made the playoffs and actually won a playoff game. Shocking).

#9 MOLLY POP (3-4) This is where one lands when they lose three straight, never breaking 1,200. Molly has actually dropped four of her last five and is starting to look like a one-hit wonder (with her week two 2,025-pt game). With Larry Johnson finally playing solid (at least against bad teams), Frank Gore slides in right behind Shaun Alexander as the biggest bust of the year.

#10 BACKSTREET BOYZ (3-4) Let someone else try to figure this team out. Rob has scored 1457, 1673 and 1866. He’s also scored 866, 672 and 742 (he also scored 1266 once). So basically, he’s scored between 1457-866 (591-pt difference) only once. Luckily for Rob, his next three opponents are 8th, 12th and 11th in scoring.

#11 NASTY BOYZ KENNELS (0-7) Poor Griff can’t catch a break. He actually had a chance to beat Matt, but Schaub went down early and that’s all she wrote. This week he faces Jeff/Colby. If he loses the game, guess what…the season is over. In fact, Griff needs to win every week from here on out. To add to his misery; Miami 37 Florida State 29; how pathetic do you have to be when you allow Kirby ‘Fucking’ Freeman to go 90 yards on you in the last minute of the game. Also, Lee’s last three passes of the game…easily the worst three passes every thrown in college football history.

#12 THE QUARTER POUNDERS (1-6) Technically, the Pounders aren’t out of it. In fact, they are only three games out of a playoff spot, but let’s be realistic, they’re not going to turn it around. Be men, beat Griff and walk with your head up high.

WEEK EIGHT

The Wide Stance 941 at Burrier Bruisers 903 Backstreet Boyz 1507 at The Islamofascists 1808 Yankee Killaz 1351 at Molly Pop 1251 Nasty Boyz Kennels 1500 at Quarter Pounders 1104 Gator Nation 1233 at Big Shirtless Rob 1149 The Swamp 508 at The Caucasians 1675

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS

#1 – DAVID HIGHTOWER (8-0) The scary part is, he’s basically winning without either of his star running backs. Like I said, it doesn’t hurt to have a QB having the greatest fantasy season in history. He should be able to take care of me next week, but again in week ten, he has bye-week issues.

#2 THE CAUCASIANS (5-3) His dominating victory over Eric is enough to put him over Lil’ E in the number two spot. That’s four straight W’s for Bob. I see no reason to assume the W’s will suddenly stop coming, especially with a healthy Jacobs and Hines Ward. Just wait until Andre Johnson comes back. By the way, did anyone notice that Lee Evan scored 212 total points in the first five weeks, got cut by Colby and has scored 512 in his last two games? Would you consider that the worst drop of the year or the greatest pick up (assuming he keeps it up.

#3 – THE SWAMP (6-2) I can’t keep Eric in the #2 spot after a performance like that. However, let’s just call it a fluke game. First, he didn’t have Romo, Alexander and Fitzgerald playing (all on bye-weeks) and second, he played Ahman Green, who was declared out late Sunday. The good news was Chatman wasn’t half bad. He wasn’t Ronnie Brown, but there is hope.

#4 THE WIDE STANCE (4-4) The game was ugly, only 941 points (needing a late Cutler drive to win), but it is about time Matt caught a break in life. I can’t believe you played the Redskins against the Pats offense. Again, a bad game, but a win is a win and more importantly, Matt is tied for second in the division.

#5 GATOR NATION (4-4) A huge win for Don (I give the details below in mine). No Hasselback, no McGahee, no Owens, no Gonzalez…no problem. A sick win with all the stars sitting on the bench. You might not know thus, but Don has OWNED me the past three years. After losing his first four games against me, Don has beaten me four straight times. I believe he is the only person to do that ever.

#6 ISLAMOFACISTS (5-3) Talk about pulling a big score out of your ass…where did that come from? So far in the Brees for River trade, both have suddenly started to play well, but Brees has done better. Also, is Rich really going to rely on Kevin Jones? Are we really to believe that Martz has remembered how to run the ball? In the past two games, the answer is yes to both. With five wins, with five to go, it will be tough to knock Calderon out of the playoffs.

#7 BIG SHIRTLESS ROB (4-4) You know, it’s starting to get frustrating. Robio just can’t seem to catch a break. I had Don beaten all night. With a 1:30 to go in the Broncos/Packers game, I was up by about 150. Then the Broncos drive 92 yard down the field. They call time out on the three yard line, with about 23 seconds to go in the game. They have no more time outs and it’s about second and one. So obviously you take two shots in the end zone. What does Denver do? They run a QB sneak, he gets snuffed. The Broncos hurry out the kicking team and kick the field goal, tying the game. What’s the worst that could happen? All game, Don’s two players (Jennings and Scheffler) had only 218 for the game. The Packers win the toss, return the kick to the 18 and guess what happens? Favre throws a bomb to Jennings who catches it and takes it all the way for a touchdown…222 points added, game over, Don wins by 84 points. I’m now 1-4 this year as the guru favorite. More importantly, since I went into the 2003 playoffs as the defending champ, #1 seed and top scoring team, and lost to Calderon in round one, I am 25-27 (3-3 in post)…all this despite the simple fact that over the last four years, I’ve number one in scoring during that time. Frustrating.

#8 BACKSTREET BOUZ (3-5) Did anyone predict that Masterson would be in last place in his division after eight weeks? Yeah, neither did I. Everything seem to be working; Bulger finally had a good game, Addai got almost all carries and Edwards continued his amazing season, who knew that Calderon would have one of his ‘he scored what? games this week. Look on the bright side, you have two easy wins the next two weeks facing Jeff/Colby and Burrier.

#9 MOLLY POP (3-5) Could the post-season really be any fun if neither Coomer was at the party? Molly dropped her 4th straight and in two weeks faces her husband. That loser of that game, could be eliminated from the playoffs. Ouch. By the way, what has happened to Frank Gore? Seriously, he’s been as bad as Shaun Alexander.

#10 NASTY BOYZ KENNELS (1-7) Yep, he earns his one, single win and I move him ahead of four win Burrier. Reason? It’s easy, Griff has outscored Burrier by over 1,200 total points. He’s still not consistent enough; good games always are followed by bad games, but Griff does suddenly have the best receiving duo in the league, followed a born-again Larry Johnson. Can he really win five in a row…we’ll see.

#11 BURRIER BRUISERS (4-4) I’m choosing to ignore Rich’s four wins. He’s 11th in the league in scoring, by a large margin. To make the playoffs, Rich has to finish at least 3-2. With his scoring woes, he will not win any scoring tiebreakers. Man, how made is your receiving core when you have to start Ike Hilliard? Rich had to go three-wide and those three combined for a solid 158 points. Good luck winning those three games.

#12 QUARTER POUNDERS (1-7) Well, at least you guys broke 1,000. At 1-7 and last in the league in scoring, this ship is just abut ready to go under. All they can really play for is pride. That’s really all I can add at this point.

WEEK NINE

The Wide Stance 1609 at Molly Pop 1471 Backstreet Boyz 1300 at Quarter Pounders 1536 Yankee Killaz 1378 at Big Shirtless Rob 1160 Nasty Boyz Kennels 1442 at The Caucasians 1342 Gator Nation 2228 at Burrier Bruisers 932 The Swamp 1224 at The Islamofascists 1002

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS

1. Yankee Killaz – After nine weeks, Dave has clinched (you read that right), clinched a playoff spot. He’s in. Win next week with the Pats on their bye-week and I’ll go ahead and start making you your championship mug now. 2. Gator Nation – The scary part is, this team is just starting to come together 3. The Wide Stance – This is the first time you’ve broke 1,500 in seven weeks. You can’t afford to slip now. 4. The Swamp – Yep, I’m dropping you. The Swamp hasn’t broken 1,200 in their last four games. 5. The Caucasians – Despite the defeat, your team scored well again and next you should have all your pieces back for the first time since week one. 6. Islamofascists – We’ll just forget this game happened at all. 7. Backstreet Boyz – Masterson just can’t catch a break 8. Nasty Boyz Kennels – Back-to-back 1,500-pt games, thanks to Big Ben’s miracle half last night Guess who’s only two games out of a playoff spot? All that’s good news, until we learn that LJ could be out for a while. 9. Big Shirtless Rob – A week after losing to Don on a 82-yard Jennings TD in OT, I lose this week thanks to the Steelers playing the greatest defenses half in league history. 10. Burrier Bruisers – Somehow, someway, you’re a tiebreaker away from being in the playoffs. Stunning. 11. Molly Pop – Five loses and counting, but you have games against Griff and the Pounders the next two weeks, combined record, 3-15. You better win those, since you end the season against Don and Eric; 1st and 3rd in the league in scoring. 12. Quarter Pounders – Just like Griff, the Pounders are technically only two games out of a playoff spot. Can Colby put together a winning roster down the stretch?

IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY

#1 Yankee Killaz vs. #8 Burrier Bruisers The match up Dave would pray for, if he wasn’t a man of Satan.

#2 The Swamp vs. #7 Big Shirtless Rob We’ll see a preview of this possible match up next week.

#3 The Wide Stance vs. #6 The Caucasians The battle for the division in the final week, and they could face off again seven days later.

#4 Gator Nation vs. #5 Islamofascists Obviously Don would rather be a #1 or #1 (facing me or Burrier), but then he has to root against his son, oh wait, Don’s Republican…never mind.

#9 Molly Pop & #10 Backstreet Boyz Both sit one game back of Burrier and myself and both would easily beat both in a total point tiebreaker.

#10 Nasty Boyz Kennels & Quarter Pounders Both are two games out, but would need to keep winning and continue to score big, to win some tiebreakers.

Big Week coming up…not ready for predictions, but here’s what we got.

(3-6, 6th in scoring) Backstreet Boyz vs. (4-5, 11th in scoring) Burrier Bruisers Rob, you want in the playoffs? This is your chance. The winner will probably be the 8th seed after this week. Masterson leads the series 5-4.

(5-4, 7th in scoring) Islamofascists vs. (5-4, 4th in scoring) The Wide Stance It’s the team to beat vs. the team with ‘the plan’. The winner will almost be guaranteed a playoff spot. Calderon leads the series 3-1.

(2-7, 12th in scoring) Quarter Pounders vs. (9-0, 2nd in scoring) Yankee Killaz Can a two-win team really be favorite over an undefeated team? You bet ya, Dave loses most of his starters with the Patriots taking a break. Jeff/Colby leads the series 2-1.

(3-6, 5th in scoring) Molly Pop vs. (2-7, 8th in scoring) Nasty Boyz Kennels If Griff loses, he can pretty much kiss the playoffs good bye. If Molly loses, it’s going to be a struggle to reach the playoffs. What if they tie though? Griff leads the series 6-4.

(5-4, 1st in scoring) Gator Nation vs. (5-4, 10th in scoring) The Caucasians Don’s first game as the league’s top scorer, he needs some help though if he wants the division and a top seed. Bob also needs a ‘W’ to fight off Neatock for the division. It’s a better world this year to be a top seed, than a middle seed. Bob leads the series 4-2.

(4-5, 9th in scoring) Big Shirtless Rob vs. (7-2, 3rd in scoring) The Swamp I need a win and I need to score. I’m currently 9th in scoring. I’m been top-three in scoring in eight of my nine years in the league, finishing only 5th in 2004. For Eric, if he beats me this week and Masterson beats the Burrier Bruisers, Eric clinches his first, ever playoff invite. Robio leads the series 4-2.

WEEK TEN

The Islamofascists 865 at The Wide Stance 969 Burrier Bruisers 800 at Backstreet Boyz 1122 Quarter Pounders 1474 at Yankee Killaz 884 Molly Pop 1513 at Nasty Boyz Kennels 1783 The Caucasians 835 at Gator Nation 1287 Big Shirtless Rob 1190 at The Swamp 1355

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Week in and week out, I’m constantly telling you what is wrong with your team, why you won’t win it, basically, why you suck so much. Not today though. Today, I’m going positive. With three games left, we have all twelve teams still fighting for a playoff spot. In fact, no one is more than one-game out of a spot in the post-season dance.

With an eight-team format (with no byes), anything can happen in the post season. Just look at the history. Seeds two and three (both division winners) are 4-4 in the first round. Hell, the first seed is only 5-3, losing in the first round in three of the last four years. In total, the top four seeds are 16-16 in round one, thus the bottom four seeds are 16-16 in round one. The bottom seeds have produced two league runner ups and one champion.

This is week’s Tuesday Thoughts will be dedicated to showing you how each team (even Burrier’s) will win the title. (Also, I have them in order of Robio’s Rankings this week.

WHY YANKEE KILLAZ WILL WIN IT ALL? HEALTH – He adds a healthy Steven Jackson back to an already stacked lineup. MVP – Brady is going to shatter every single season passing record, thus, he will shatter all fantasy records. UNHERALDED – The Steelers D and Heath Miller as starters seemed like a weak spot, but instead they are strengths down the stretch.

WHY THE WIDE STANCE WILL WIN IT ALL? NO BIG DEAL – He might have lost Peterson for only a couple games, so he could be back playoff time. LT LAUNCH TIME – His worst game is still lots of back’s best games. San Diego has a lot to play for still and they know LT is the answer. MORE MOSS – There is no reason to expect Randy Moss to slow down. If Brady breaks the TD record, Moss will break the TD reception record.

WHY GATOR NATION WILL WIN IT ALL? CONSTENT CONSISTENCY – No one can just hope Don loses. He doesn’t. If you want to beat him, you’ll have to score. STUD HANDS – Owens and Jennings can match any receiving duo in points. HASSEL-THROW – The Hawks are giving up on the run. Hasselback will be throwing a minimum of 35 times a game.

WHY THE SWAMP WILL WIN IT ALL? SUSPENSION – Travis Henry will finally lose his appeal, he’ll be suspended and Selvin Young becomes a star. ROMOMANIA – To beat Dave, you’re going to need to match Brady’s 400+ per game. Romo is that QB. GATES WHO? – Yes, Gates will end up the year the best TE, but Winslow has been better the last few weeks. Look for the trend to continue.

WHY THE CAUCASIANS WILL WIN IT ALL? COLTS IR – Harrison and Clark come back, as does two missing pieces on the O-line, helping push Manning back into the elite status. RETURN OF ANDRE – You’ve might have forgotten how good he was earlier this year. Andre Johnson finally comes back and returns to top-five receiver status. KILLA B’s – Reggie Bush and Brandon Jacobs can almost guarantee Bob over 200 yards and two touchdowns per week.

WHY ISLAMOFACISTS WILL WIN IT ALL? COMEBACK KID – Trading away Rivers for Brees will end up being the trade of the year. SMARTY PANTS – Calderon rotates the Vikes D and the Giants D for the rest of the year, assuring he gets stud numbers from the DST spot each and every week. RUDI – The Bengals finally start to let Rudi carry the rock 20+ a game.

WHY BACKSTREET BOYZ WILL WIN IT ALL? WELCOME BACK – Harrison finally returns to help unite both the Colts and Backstreet Boyz ZZZZZZZZ – The son of Huggy Bear (Fargas) becomes the second back that Rob desperately needs. BULGER BENEFITS – No one loves the return of Steven Jackson, than Marc Bulger…he seems to perform well when SJ’s in there.

WHY NASTY BOYZ KENNELS WILL WIN IT ALL? SUPER DUO – Housh and Wayne are no longer second fiddles. Now they make up the best receiving duo in the league. GREAT GRANT – When all is going wrong, you need a solid FA pick up and Grant appears to be that guy. The Packers are giving him almost all the carries and he will deliver. BIG BAD BEN – Big Ben is bad this year and when I wrote bad, I mean the good bad, not the bad bad. The Steelers will continue to heave the ball around in the red zone.

WHY BIG SHIRTLESS ROB WILL WIN IT ALL? BEST BACK – With Peterson down for a while, Westbrook is now the #1 back in fantasy football. THE TWILIGHT ZONE – The end zone has been a mystery to Fast Willie all season. He’ll rediscover it down the stretch.

WHY MOLLY POP WILL WIN IT ALL? RE-BIRTH – Gore and James will suddenly rediscover their abilities. FAVRE’S STAR – He’s on a roll and he won’t stop, giving Molly a top-five QB. #1 HANDS – Colston is a star again, giving Molly a #1 receiver.

WHY THE QUARTER POUNDERS WILL WIN IT ALL? ROOKIE GETS IT – Rookie backs always seem to just click in the second half of their rookie season. Lynch is starting to click. IF THE BROWNS CAN DO IT…If Anderson can lead the Browns to the playoffs, they can certainly lead the Pounders to the playoffs. BEARS ATTACK – In a last ditch effort to make the playoffs, the Bears DST find their ’06 glory and score nearly 300ppg down the stretch.

WHY BURRIER BRUISERS WILL WIN IT ALL? BARBER, BABY – Julius Jones gets hurt and just like that Barber is a #1 back. O’HENRY – With Henry back in the lineup, no more double teams for Chad Johnson, who takes off in the second half. THERE’S ALWAYS MATT – Somehow, someway, Burrier will convince Matt that it would be in his best interest to trade him LT, Moss and Welker for Donald Lee. Matt goes along with it. Burrier wins.

WEEK ELEVEN

The Wide Stance 1776 at Backstreet Boyz 1213 Big Shirtless Rob 1183 at The Caucasians 1244 Nasty Boyz Kennels 915 at Yankee Killaz 1917 The Islamofascists 866 at Burrier Bruisers 974 The Swamp 1534 at Gator Nation 1684 Quarter Pounders 514 at Molly Pop 1417

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS For eight teams, it’s over. We’re done. Have a nice off-season. Yes, technically all twelve teams still have a shot at the playoffs, but let’s get serious; this league in 2007 is owned by Dave, Matt and two Vozzola’s. The rest of us are just lucky to be living in their world. All four break 1,500 on a regular basis, while the rest of us are living off of scraps.

We have David, who comes off his bye-week with a solid 1,900-pt game. He’s already wrapped up his division. Tom Brady is having the greatest season ever; 38 TDs to four INT’s. Tom Brady alone beat the Quarter Pounders this week, 671-514. In fact, he did it in three quarters. Come playoff time, Dave could simple not start a receiving duo and still win. In three possible playoff games for Dave, Brady will face the Steelers, Jets and the Dolphins, all at home! The only once conceivable tough match up would have been against the Steelers, but they are 2-3 on the road, just losing to the freaking Jets.

Don is one team that could give Dave a run for his money. In head-to-head break down, Don is 5-6 against Don. The defending champ has scored 1,000 or more in fifteen straight games, and over 1,200 in six straight games. Hasselback has turned into an elite QB again and McGahee looks like a pro bowl RB. Jennings could end up being the best free agent pick up that was cut by another team.

Eric continues to put up solid numbers, despite not having his two starting running backs. He has the only QB (Romo) who could possibly, maybe, on a rare day, keep up with Brady. By the way, did you ever think DJ Hackett could be the man who leads Eric to the promise land? That’s right. After getting hurt in week one, Hackett looks like a top-five receiver; his three scores upon coming back; 164, 246, 314. With him and Fitzgerald, Burress could be the odd man out (or third receiver). Must be nice to have options.

You can’t talk about title though without mentioning Matt…did I really write that? I swear if Matt wins the title, it will be the beginning of Armageddon. It just doesn’t seem right. Anyhow, looking back let’s not forget, Matt could of (should of) beaten Dave back in week four…and he didn’t have LT and Kitna, and Welker had yet to blossom. If Matt faced off with Dave in the finals, he could give him a run for his money. In week sixteen, LT is at home, facing the Broncos DST, one of the league’s worst run defenses. Also, Matt has both of Brady’s favorite receivers; Moss and Welker. Any TD he throws to them are a wash. Any yards Brady gets from them, they get double. Dave would be better off facing off with a Vozzola.

However, if Matt does want to make a serious run at the title, he’s going to need Peterson back. Sure he doesn’t need him to beat the rest of us, but facing the big boys will require more than Fred Taylor. Also, winning the division is important. If Matt were to fall to the 4th or 5th seed, he would have to face one of the top four in all rounds of the playoffs (assuming no upsets).

Then there are the rest of us, how pathetic are we? I really should consider just turning the post-season into four teams this year. However, since I can’t, let’s see what we got.

Bob has some big names, but week in and week out, the points just don’t add up. He hasn’t scored over 1,500 since week three. Peyton is playing more like Eli and now Jacobs is hurt again. At least Andre is back and healthy finally.

Two teams that have been top-five in scoring over the last eight weeks are the two Coomers, but they’re a combined 7-15. Only one will probably make the playoffs, but which one could really pull off a first-round upset? Molly just rolled out 1,400 points or more in three-straight games, but lost two of them. Morris has helped replacing a pitiful Gore, but Alexander’s coming back at some point and just like that, Molly will have a hole to fill.

I’ve always said, Masterson was going to be a dangerous 8th seed, but now I’m just bored. Addai has been a big positive, but it has become quite clear that Rob will never have consistent play from the QB spot. We (when I say ‘we’ I mean me) thought that Fargas was the new answer at the 2nd RB spot, but he can’t seem to find the end zone.

Calderon once considered himself a good team, but even he has to be shaking his head that he lost to Burrier. In fact, all five teams who have lost to Burrier are still shaking their heads. Although Calderon has had a couple of solid games, they appear to be fluke games (was Masterson right?). Of his last eight games, he’s failed to break 900 in half. Its not really Rich’s fault. Not too many teams would win if they were starting Bennett and Crayton. With Deuce gone for the year and Rudi an afterthought, Calderon has been forced to decide between 6-8 average players on a week-to-week basis. You may pull off a win or two occasionally, but you can’t win a title that way.

Burrier earned his 5th win of the season, but I’m being nice when I say ‘earned’. Starting with baseball (where he was the lowest scoring team, but made the playoffs), no one has had more luck in 2007. Of his five wins, three of his opponents failed to break 1,000 and only one broke 1,200 points.

Then there is sweet old Robio…what is wrong with me? Why has my league become such a riddle? I’m16-6 in my two other leagues, but 4-7 in Robioland. I guess it’s easy to loss when you have one great player and a bunch of 150’s. I’m on pace to have my worst season ever in both wins and scoring.

The Pounders refuse to die, although they should consider suicide. This week was especially painful. Their 514 points is the 14th lowest in league history. Like Calderon, Colby has a roster that he is forced to make tough decision each week, and more often than not, he’s made the wrong one. At least with Anderson, Lynch and possibly the first pick in the draft next year, he’s setting up Jeff nicely next year to really, really blow it.

WEEK TWELVE

The Wide Stance 1107 at Big Shirtless Rob 1143 Backstreet Boyz 1285 at The Caucasians 1547 Yankee Killaz 1305 at Burrier Bruisers 1422 Nasty Boyz Kennels 1304 at The Islamofascists 1398 Gator Nation 958 at Molly Pop 1531 The Swamp 1268 at Quarter Pounders 1304

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS

ALREADY INVITED: Dave, Eric, Bob, Don, Matt WIN AND IN: Rich C., Rich B., Molly HELP WANTED: Robio NEED A MIRACLE: Masterson NOT OFFICIAL, BUT OUT: Jeff/Colby SEE YA NEXT YEAR: Griff (Details below)

ROBIO’S RANTINGS How do you do the rankings when the top four teams all lose? How do you decide when five teams are still fighting for the last three-playoff spots? Hell, Calderon could end up either the 5th seed in the playoffs, or the third pick in the ’08 draft. Let’s give it a try anyhow.

#1 YANKEE KILLAZ Dave has already wrapped up everything, so this loss means nothing. He’s got the division and the top seed. If he can beat Calderon next week, he’ll be the only team to finish with only two-loses in the regular season.

#2 THE SWAMP The Swamp is sinking slowly right now. That’s two straight defeats. Eric is only 3-4 in his last seven. Worse yet, he’s struggling to find a healthy running back, all while facing the hottest team in the league next week in Molly. Did I mention that if he loses and Don wins (and Don maintain his TP lead over Eric), Don wins the division and Eric falls to 4th seed (facing the loser of the Matt/Bob game this week)? I’m not willing to knock you down though, because everyone else around you lost and because of the health issues.

#3 GATOR NATION Don failed to find 1,000 for the first time in over a year, but it’s better to have this game now, than in two weeks. Like I’ve already said, Don’s in, the only question remaining is, does he win the division? Needs a win and an Eric defeat. If he can’t overtake Eric, he takes on the loser of the Matt/Bob game this week.

#4 THE WIDE STANCE Once again, Matt can’t take down Robio. Luckily for you, I probably won’t make the playoffs. Of course, this is what happens when you carry four QB’s on your roster. It forces you to have to make decisions and this time, you made the wrong decision. Matt would have won easily with either Kitna or Cutler. Anyhow, good news. Word on the street is Peterson might be back next week. Good opportunity for him to work out the kinks next week, before the playoffs start. Next week, if Matt bears Bob, he wins the division and the 3rd seed. If he loses, he’s most likely end up the 5th seed.

#5 MOLLY POP The good news; despite a six game losing streak, she’s back in the playoff picture, controlling her own destiny. The bad news; despite being 4th in scoring, one slip up next week and she could be knocked out of the playoffs. Here is how it works. Win and you’re in. If you lose, but Masterson beats me, you’re in. If I win and you lose, and both Rich’s win, you’re out. If I win and you lose, and one (if not both Rich’s lose), you’re in.

#6 THE CAUCASIANS Bob’s in, but he needs Jacobs back to be effective in the playoffs. If he wants to win his second division, he needs to beat Matt next week. If he loses, he could fall as far as the 6th seed, but the 5th seed is more likely.

#7 THE ISLAMOFACISTS A solid win, but the playoffs aren’t guaranteed yet. If you win, you’re in. If you lose and either Burrier, Molly or me lose too, you’re still in. Even if both Molly and I win and you and Burrier lose, you’re in because of total points over Burrier. For you to miss the playoffs, you would need to lose and then Molly, Burrier and me all have to win, and then the 8th seed would come down to total points between you and I. Currently, I’m beating you by 322 points.

#8 NASTY BOYZ KENNELS The season is over for Griff, but it was a nice rally anyhow. Now it is time to play spoiler and see if he can knock Burrier out of the playoffs. He does have some injury issues, but he’s still scored over 2,500 more than Burrier this season.

#9 BACKSTREET BOYZ Yep, I’m putting you over me, but you’re probably just going to be playing spoiler. It would take a miracle to get in. To get in, you would need to beat me, that’s the easy part. But you would also need Molly to lose. You would then also need to outscore Molly 967 points. Stranger things have happen, but it would certainly be a miracle.

#10 BIG SHIRTLESS ROB Okay, first things first…I need to beat Masterson. Let’s assume I do for now. If Molly loses, I’m in and she’s out. Now let’s say Molly wins. I would need one of the two Rich’s to lose. If Burrier loses and I win, I’m in. I got him in total points by a ton. If Calderon loses and I win, then I have to maintain my slim 322-pt lead over him in total points. If both Rich’s lose (and Molly wins), Calderon and I are in, and Burrier is out.

#11 THE QUARTER POUNDERS The Pounders have rallied from that awful 1-7 start to win three of their last four, but they’re dead last in total points so even if they win next week, they wouldn’t be able to overcome any tiebreakers over Molly and the winner of the Rob vs. Rob game. The only question now is, do they avoid being below Burrier in total points this year.

#12 BURRIER BRUISERS The score was impressive and the win against 10-1 Dave was solid, but I’m not moving Rich up just yet. I think I’ll be sick if Burrier gets in the playoffs in both baseball and football, despite having the lowest scoring team in both. Anyhow, let’s look at what we got. If Burrier wins, he’s in. Now let’s go ahead and say Burrier loses, let’s see how it plays out. If I win, Burrier is out. However, if Molly loses, Burrier is in whether he wins or loses.

LET’S LOOK AHEAD

ROB VS. ROB Robio won the first meeting 1,571-866 Let’s just say this time around, Molly and the Rich’s will all be rooting for Masterson in this one. It just makes everything simple. Masterson should be a slight favorite going into this one. How off though is the computer guru? Despite the fact I’m 5-7, I’ve been favorite in seven of those games. I’m 1-6 as the favorite and 4-0 as the underdog.

BURRIER VS. GRIFF Rich won the first meeting; 1,186-935 Since their last meeting in week three, Rich has broken 1,200 only twice. Griff has done it six times. Since that game, 4-5. Griff is 3-6. Currently Griff is 6th in the league in scoring. The highest scoring team to miss the playoffs, was Robio in 2004 (the 5th highest scoring team).

MATT VS. BOB Matt crushed Bob, 2,338-1,227 The winner takes the division and being the 3rd seed will probably be easier than being the 5th seed. The 3rd seed probably plays a Rich. The 5th seed plays a Vozzola.

CALDERON VS. DAVE Dave killed Rich, 2,018-1,158 Of all the teams still trying to land a playoff spot, Rich is probably handed the toughest match up. However, let’s not forget history. After pulling off the week fourteen miracle in 2003, Rich has been knocked out of the playoff race in the final week the past two seasons.

ERIC VS. MOLLY Eric ripped Molly, 1,905-829 Eric may have the wins and the points (and maybe even the divisional title), but with a win over Lil’ E, Molly could quickly become one of the favorites heading into the post.

DON VS. JEFF/COLBY Don beat JC, 1,549-1,012 The game has little meaning. Don is vying for a division title, but that’s about it. Can the Pounders pull off one more upset this season?

WEEK THIRTEEN

Big Shirtless Rob 742 at Backstreet Boyz 1684 The Caucasians 1455 at The Wide Stance 1301 Burrier Bruisers 898 at Nasty Boyz Kennels 1508 The Islamofascists 1182 at Yankee Killaz 1532 Molly Pop 885 at The Swamp 851 Quarter Pounders 1199 at Gator Nation 1668

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS I’m not prepared to make my post-season predictions. I’ll deliver those later in the week. For now, here are the final rankings for 2007.

#1 YANKEE KILLAZ Nice way to end the season. You didn’t want to roll into the post-season on a two game losing streak. Obviously Brady is the star of this team, but let’s give credit for a great pick up in Graham. He’s been the best back on this team, helping you get over an injured Jackson and a unproductive Maroney. However, next week might be tougher than you’d had hope. The Steelers DST heads to New England and more importantly, Roy Williams is done for the year. Daute Stallworth is the only backup WR on this team.

#2 GATOR NATION Solid finish to a very impressive season. You made up an amazing four games with six to go, to take the division from your son. Last week, Masterson talked about the 1,200-pt mark being the point total you want to hit to be successful. Don has hit that mark ten times this season. He’s got a favorable opponent in the quarters, so I see know reason why he can’t continue the success.

#3 THE CAUCASIANS I’ve said all year that I would be very curious to see what this team could do if it ever got healthy. What’s scary is he just won his division, and he has yet to get fully healthy. Next week Bob should get Jacobs back and he’ll finally, finally be completely healthy this year. Let’s see if he can continue his roto-defense success.

#4 THE WIDE STANCE Now that’s the kind of game we expect from a Peterson/Tomlinson combo, but think about this before you get too depressed about the defeat. The Colts D, Welker, Moss, LJ and Borinas all struggled, yet you only lost by 154 points.

#5 MOLLY POP An ugly win, but a win is a win and the playoffs have their Coomer. Molly has a tough week of research and web site watching to do. Will Favre be back, and if he is, do you play him over Palmer? Who does Molly play at RB; Gore, Smith, James, Morris? Who to start at receiver? Colston is a sure thing, but who else? Molly needs to make a lot of decisions.

#6 THE SWAMP Fitzgerald doesn’t play and Chatman gets hurt and just like that, you lose by 34 points and you lose the division. Worse yet, instead of playing a sluggish Calderon, you face a much better Wide Stance team. Welcome to your first playoff trip, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a short trip.

#7 BACKSTREET BOYZ What went wrong? Everything started off so right for Rob, he had a stack lineup (minus a second back) and out of the gate, he looked like a champ. He started 2-0 with two solid scores. However, injuries derailed this team. Losing Harrison all season was huge, but losing Bulger and Coles didn’t help. Let’s not forget Addai was gone for a game too. Injuries destroyed a good Ravens defense and although Steve Smith didn’t get hurt, it didn’t help that his first string and second string QB went down. Next year Rob will still have some solid talent with some pretty obvious keepers. Having the 4th pick won’t hurt either.

#8 NASTY BOYZ KENNELS It was one hell of a comeback from 0-7, but you still ended up 7th in scoring. Obviously Griff had some solid parts; Wayne, Housh, Big Ben and even Jason Witten, but Griff’s season fell apart early when not one, but both his running backs stumbled out of the gate. Both Benson and Johnson were two of the top three busts this season early on. While LJ finally got his groove on, and Griff picked up a solid Grant, LJ got hurt and when you need to win every game to get into the playoffs, it became too much. Let’s just say, a lot of higher seeds a breathing a sigh of relief knowing you just missed out.

#9 ISLAMOFACISTS Since week six, you’ve won only two games, but you still earn the 7th seed. Thank God for that 4-1 start. Last year Don was able to run behind Ron Dayne to the title, but is Rich willing to give it a shot to? I just don’t have enough faith (outside of Holt) to go three wide and win.

#10 BURRIER BRUISERS Stunning. Last in scoring in baseball; he makes the playoffs. Last in scoring in football; he makes the playoffs. Does anyone have more fantasy luck than Burrier? The funny part is, with no LT next year, if he actually wins in the first round this season, it hurts him in next year’s draft.

#11 BIG SHIRTLESS ROB I will have to go on record and say that my team has to be the most disappointing team of ’07. No, I wasn’t the best team that missed the playoffs (I still believe Masterson’s was), but while he can blame injuries, I really can’t. My starting roster at the beginning on the year was the most expensive, filled with a bunch of top six-eight guys, but no one lived up to their potential. Willie Parker has over 1,000 yards, but only two TD’s. Travis Henry was a bust. Driver become the third best receiver on his team. Vince Young forgot how to run the ball. Chad Johnson was still top ten, but he was only second best on his team. In the end, my season died when I turned down a trade with Matt for Moss (for Berrian and White) and later, when I turned down Welker as a second component in a trade.

#12 QUARTER POUNDERS It was a tough year all long for the Pounders, but we will have to give create to Colby for never giving up on the season. The man was making trades up until the last second. The QP’s suffered through a combination of disappoints (Thomas Jones, Bears DT) to injuries (Lynch). In the end though, a week eleven loss to Molly did him in, but there are some bright sides to everything. With Anderson and Lynch, Colby has some nice parts ready to roll in ’08, as well as next year’s number one pick.

QUICK PEAK AT NEXT WEEK

#1 Yankee Killaz vs. Burrier Bruisers Rich hasn’t won in the first round since 2003. Dave hasn’t lost in the first round since 2003.

#2 Gator Nation vs. #7 Islamofascists Don and Rich didn’t face off this year, but Don is 0-5 lifetime against Calderon…which of course means nothing in this game.

#3 The Caucasians vs. #6 Molly Pop You think Burrier has it bad, Molly hasn’t won a playoff game since 2002. For Bob, the last time he was a division winner, he went 3-0 in the playoffs that year.

#4 The Swamp vs. #5 The Wide Stance These two are a combined 0-2 in the post-season (Eric’s never even played a post-season game). I’m not even going to ask if Eric can beat Matt, I’m just wondering if he can field a full team for once.

QUARTER FINALS

Yankee Killaz 1344 at Burrier Bruisers 1241 Gator Nation 1436 at The Islamofascists 1604 The Caucasians 1537 at Molly Pop 887 The Swamp 1339 at The Wide Stance 1556

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Every season, there is always a true first-round upset, and this season it is Calderon taking down the defending champ, Don ‘Gator Nation’ Vozzola. Of course if you ask Rich, he’ll tell you he’s not surprised, but the rest of us are. The only question left to ask…is this the greatest upset in playoff history? By seed, it’s not. We’ve had three #8 seeds knock off #1 seeds. But seeding isn’t always the best measurement. In total points though, this is clearly the biggest shocker.

In league history, the lower seeds (5-8) are 16-16 in round-one games. However, in those sixteen ‘upsets’ the lower seed was the better scoring team seven times. Out of the nine others, the higher seed was the higher scoring team, but not by much. Until Molly was upset by Don last year (she had outscored Don by 2,532 points), none had scored more than 1,600 in the season than the team that beat them in round one.

This season, Don had outscored Calderon by 3,161 total points. That’s 243ppg. We should have saw it coming though; high scoring teams and defending champs have not done well in this league.

TOP SCORING TEAMS: 1999 – Robio, won title over Griff 2000 – Rick, lost in 2nd Rd to Griff 2001 – Jason, won title over Dave 2002 – Justin, lost in 1st Rd to Griff 2003 – Robio, lost in 1st Rd to Rich C. 2004 – Jeff/Colby lost in 1st Rd to Griff 2005 – Griff, won title over Jeff/Colby 2006 – Molly, lost in 1st Rd to Don 2007 – Don, lost in 1st Rd to Rich C. DEFENDING CHAMP 2000 – Robio repeated as champion 2001 – Robio lost in semis 2002 – Jason didn’t return to league 2003 – Robio lost in 1st round 2004 – Rich B. lost in 1st round 2005 – Bob failed to make the playoffs 2006 – Griff, lost in 1st round 2007 – Don, lost in 1st round

Now we have to ask, is Rich a legit contender? For now I have to say, yes. Don won it last year and Rich has scored more points than Don did last year. The pieces are there; Brees at QB, Holt at WR, the league’s best tight end (Gates), one of the best D’s (Vikes) and even Rudi is getting 20-25 touches per game again. The only question mark is 2nd back. Crayton and Johnson are both decent #2 receivers, but having them both in? Or does Rich risk it and put in a Kevin Jones or Foster?

Let’s go ahead and take a look at next week’s match ups#1 Yankee Killaz vs. #7 Islamofascists Can Brees match Brady? Calderon can match Dave at every other position, but this one is the big question mark. Brees leads the league in passes per game (around 39), but will it be enough to match Brady’s points facing an awful Jets D at home?

#3 The Caucasians vs. #6 The Wide Stance Bob vs. Matt III. Here we go again. Of the final four, only Bob has ever won a title in Robioland. However, there is good news for Matt. Three out of the last four champions had never won a single playoff game before winning three in a row the year the won it. Matt was the only one of this final four who had yet to win a single playoff game until this week.

SEMI FINALS

Yankee Killaz 965 at The Islamofascists 1067 The Caucasians 1158 at The Wide Stance 1398

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Rich, well…let’s just say he’s taken a different path. He dropped four of his last five entering the playoffs. Hell, he’s only won twice in his final eight games. Like we always say though, all you have to do is get in the playoffs and win three in a row. But here’s the funny thing though, this is Calderon’s fifth year in the league and he has NEVER WON THREE GAMES IN A ROW. Never in 73 career games. Stunning. Does any of it matter? Nope.

Both Matt and Rich will be making their first appearance in the championship game. This leaves just two teams who have yet to taste a title game; Eric Vozzola and Rob Masterson. This will also be the 5th straight year that the team winning the title, will be winning their first. Anther amazing stat…between the 12 teams in this league, we have 78 seasons of experience; yet only Griff and I have played in the title game more than once (Griff and I have 18 of those seasons between us).More crazy stuff…the 7th seed not only won the title last year, but it is making its third straight appearance in the title game. In fact, in the playoffs, the 7th seeds are tied with 2nd seeds with the third best record in the post-season (9-7). Obviously I will be making a prediction later in the week, but looking at the lineups right now, it will be tough to not pick Neatock (I’ll say it for you Rich, it’s just what you want, we know).Matt’s team looks a lot like Griff’s ’05, when he had Alexander and Larry Johnson. Guess who Griff beat that year to win the title? 7th seeded Jeff/Colby.

A QUICK LOOK AT THE LOSERS: DAVE – With a depleted receiving core, I was afraid of what would happen to you if Brady didn’t produce. You can also blame the Steelers DST who blew a big cock this weekend. They scored about 180 below their average, which would have been nice since you lost by 102. BOB – I personally don’t like playing the ‘what if’ game, but too bad you didn’t have Stecker in and you pulled Vernon Davis out, you would have won. It’s never fun when you’re the second highest scoring team of the week, but still lose one of the semi finals. Trust me, we’ve all been there before.

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

The Wide Stance 1444 at The Islamofascists 811

TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS This was a tough title game to deal with. I never quite knew who to cheer for. On one hand, if Calderon won, it would be the second straight year that the 7th seed (and a bottom half scorer) won the title. It would make our regular season irrelevant. On the other hand, if Matt won, it would be like have a paraplegic win my basketball league. It just makes us all look bad.

In the end, Matt takes home the gold (actually the mug). It was over early, by midway through the second quarter. No matter how much we rag on Matt, he’s the champ now, at least until this time next year.

It’s hard to believe that in the past two years the champs have been a Vozzola and a Neatock, while people like Masterson and Calderon have produced zero (and I’ve gone five years without).

Speaking of Rich, that’s league runner up in both baseball and football. His ragtag bunch just kind of fell apart this weekend; Jones and Gonzalez go down, and everyone else not named Watson under performs. It’s a tough way to go. His 811 points is the second lowest scoring title game performance. In fact, the losing team of the title game has failed to break 900 in the last three games.

Congratulations Matt, 2007 is yours.